Odd Ones Out
It was Friday afternoon. Twilight Velvet trotted frantically through her Canterlot home. "There are some prepared meals in the fridge," she said as she gathered up the last of her travel things. "I'll be back Sunday afternoon," she said. "You always did say you wanted a day off for Father's Day."
"We're retired, Vel. Days off are meaningless," Night Light said. "I'll be fine. Really." He followed after her, holding her bag. "I'll manage without you for the weekend somehow."
There was a knock at the front door. Velvet stopped what she was doing and walked over to open it. Outside on the front steps was their son, Shining Armor, his wife, Cadance, and their daughter, Flurry Heart.
"Oh, hey guys!" Velvet greeted.
"Hey Mom," Shining greeted. "Sorry to drop in on you like this but we got an urgent royal summons to Canterlot Castle. Apparently things have been getting uppity between the Abyssinian and the Diamond Dog nations again. Could you guys keep an eye on Flurry while we're in town?"
"I told you, Dad, I don't need a foalsitter! I'm not a little filly anymore!" Flurry Heart huffed and rolled her eyes just as far as they could go without dislodging themselves. "I have a whole palace full of guard stallions."
"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of..." Shining muttered. He looked at the bag in his mother's hoof. "Oh, are we interrupting something?"
"Not at all, Shining," Velvet said, waving them inside. "I was just packing to go visit your grandfather for the weekend." Velvet smiled at Cadance and then looked at Flurry. "Come give your grandmare a hug!"
Flurry Heart had been a precocious foal growing up, and an even-more angsty filly. Her family, and extended family tried their best to give her a normal life. But even the best efforts could not prevent a pony from being a bit maladjusted from being a royal celebrity her whole life. Still, she wasn't too cool to give her grandmare a hug.
"Goodness! You're almost as tall as I am now," Velvet said. "I remember when I could still cradle you in my hooves."
"They do grow up fast, don't they?" Night said to Shining. His son let out an exasperated sigh. Night looked at Flurry. "C'mere kiddo!" He gave her a hug as well.
"Who wants cookies?" Velvet asked.
Flurry heart rolled her eyes. "I'm not a little filly."
"So you're saying you don't want cookies?" Velvet asked.
"... No. I'm not saying that."
"Don't spoil my daughter!" Cadance said.
"Cadie, I'm done being a parent," Velvet said. "I'm a grandparent. This is the grand part."
"Flurry, don't ruin your dinner!" Cadance said.
"She's a big girl. She will still have an appetite," Velvet said.
"At what age does calling her a 'big girl' go from being a complement to an insult?" Shining asked.
Cadance answered with her hoof jabbing him in the ribs, leaving him wheezing in the foyer while she followed after Velvet and Flurry to make sure she didn't eat too many sweets.
Night Light just looked at him. "Real smooth, Son."
Shining rubbed his side with his hoof and looked back at him nervously. "Hey Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course."
Shining glanced towards the kitchen and then walked in the opposite direction to the living room. Night Light followed him away from the muffled chatter of the mares.
"It's about Flurry," Shining explained. "She's getting to be that age where... you know, she's not a filly anymore."
"As she has repeatedly pointed out," Night said.
"I don't just mean her behavior... actually, yeah, that too. She's been acting, you know, weird."
"Snarky? Shining, she's a teenager. It's par for the course."
"It's not just that. It's... she's acting..." Shining trailed off, twiddling his hooves in an implying motion. "You know!"
Night Light arched an eyebrow. He knew perfectly well what his son was trying to get at. But his struggle to parse the words was very amusing. But even Night was losing patience with the bit, so he asked him point blank in a perfectly neutral tone, "She's acting sexually?"
Shining Armor could not have turned any whiter.
"Don't even say it out loud!" Shining shrieked in a hushed tone. It was Night Light's turn to roll his eyes.
"But that is what you're talking about, right?" he asked.
"Yes," Shining replied, turning red instead.
"So what's the problem?" Night asked.
"I don't know what to do with her!" he said. "Half the time she acts like I'm her arch enemy and the other half of the time... she just gives me these looks like... like these weird vibes like... like I said, I don't even know what to do with her."
"I don't imagine you would be 'doing' anything with her," he said. "Leave that to her coltfriend."
"She doesn't have a coltfriend!" Shining spat. "You really think I'd let a dick anywhere near her? I know what colts are like."
"Her fillyfriend then. Whatever."
"No, she doesn't have anypony like that."
"So let me get this straight. You have a young mare, at the height of her libido, with no outlet for her pent up frustration. And her behavior around you, the only stallion in her world, is a mystery to you?"
"Yes! Exactly!"
Night Light shook his head. "Shining, you're my son. And I am obligated to love you. But sometimes you are a goddamn moron."
"Why does everypony keep saying that!?"
"Have you talked with Cadance about it?" Night asked.
"She was the first pony I talked to about it. But she said that I'm Flurry's father. So it's my job to deal with it."
Night snorted. "Then deal with it."
"I just told you, I don't know how!" Shining said, exasperated. "Dad, you raised Twilight. How did you deal with it?"
"Your sister found an outlet for her sexual needs," Night said simply, giving him a pointed look. Shining gulped. "So either let Flurry do the same, or deal with it yourself."
"But- but she's my daughter!" he said.
Night Light sighed. "Shining, you are the last pony I would have expected to have a problem with that."
"I- I d-don't know what you mean!" Shining stuttered.
"Fine. Whatever. You asked for my advice. I've given it to you. You can either accept it or reject it. But I will tell you this: Until you can see Flurry as the mare that she is, instead of the filly that she was, forever as your precious little foal that needs your protecting, then you will always be a child, Shining Armor."
"..."
"Shining?" Cadance said from the hallway. "It's time to get going." Everypony gathered in the foyer again. Velvet grabbed her bag and prepared to depart.
"Can't be late for that train," she said. "Are you sure you'll be okay watching after Flurry on your own?"
"She doesn't need watching after," Night said indignantly. "I'm sure she's potty-trained by now."
Flurry snickered.
Velvet gave everypony another quick hug and kissed Night farewell before leaving.
Shining and Cadance prepared to depart as well. Cadance gave her daughter a hug and a kiss goodbye. Flurry looked at Shining. He froze up. She rolled her eyes and huffed, walking back into the kitchen.
Night just shook his head. "We'll be fine," he assured them.
"Thank you," Cadance said, turning to leave, dragging her husband with her and closing the door after them.
Night Light walked down the hallway to the kitchen. He found Flurry was silently looking through the various cabinets. He leaned against the kitchen doorway. "Liquor cabinet is bottom right."
"Nothing!" Flurry blurted. "I- I mean, uh, what!? That's not what I was looking for."
"Uh huh." Night said, walking over to the kitchen table to take a seat. "So what was the plan? Find the booze and sneak down here later tonight while I'm sleeping?"
"..."
"Yeah, when I was your age I used to think I was so clever too, so I already know all your tricks."
"Please don't tell Mom!"
"Relax. I ain't no snitch." Night Light waved an outdated gang sign with his hooves that Flurry clearly didn't recognize. "Just don't refill the liquor bottles with water. That's alcohol abuse." He looked at her. She still looked unsure of how to react. "Actually, I have a better idea." His horn glowed and the bottom right cabinet opened. He levitated out a bottle of Applejack Daniels and two glasses, setting one at the seat beside him, pulling it out for her. "Cider?" She hesitated before she sat down beside him and he poured her a small glass and set it in front of her.
"Really?" she asked.
"It's not a trick or a trap," he assured her. She picked it up to drink it like juice. She immediately coughed and sputtered. "Whoa, easy there."
"It burns!"
"Yeah, it does. It... wait, is this your first time?" Night asked. She hesitated to respond, ashamed of the truth, but eventually nodded. "Wow. I had already snuck a bunch from my parents by the time I was your age."
"Mom keeps a dry palace," she said.
"Really? Poor Shining," Night muttered.
"Oh don't worry. Dad has 'stallions night' at the guard barracks and I can smell it on him when he comes back." Flurry's wings ruffled a bit against her back as she spoke.
"Well, like I said, I'd already had a bunch by the time I was your age," he said. "But we were reckless colts growing up. The first time I drank, I got so sick I threw up all over my parents' couch. I tried to tell them I was just sick to my stomach. But they could tell it was booze because the room smelled like hoof-polish remover."
"Ew." Flurry cringed. Night picked up his glass and drank some in a couple long sips. Flurry imitated him, drinking hers again, slowly this time.
"So what do you think?" he asked.
"It tastes like how burnt wood smells."
"Yeah. That's the flavor it picks up from the barrel. But can you taste the apple flavor under that?" he asked. Flurry tried again.
"Not really."
"It's okay. It's an acquired taste. Your pallet will get more refined with time."
"Well I don't really like it."
"That's good, I suppose. I figured you were going to try it at some point anyway. Better to have it in a safe environment so you don't get hurt or sick."
Flurry sniffed her drink again and winced, pushing the glass away. "Thanks anyway, Grampa." Night took the glass from her and finished her drink.
"No problem."
"Hey Grampa?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for being cool."
"I'm cool huh?" he asked. "I think I still have one of your dad's skateboards around here. Do you think I can do a sick kick-flip now?"
Flurry chuckled. "More like a break-your-hip-flip."
"Hey, I'm not that old. I'm only fifty four," he said. "But yeah, if I tried skateboarding now, I probably wouldn't see fifty five."
"I don't think you'd die."
"No but if I did get hurt while I was supposed to be watching after you, your gram would kill me," he said. He finished his own drink. "Speaking of, don't tell her about me letting you have a drink. She'd have my balls in a jar." Flurry snorted and pursed her lips. "What?"
"Nothing," she said. "It's just that I've heard Mom say something similar to Dad." Her expression soured.
"What's wrong?" Night asked.
"Nothing," she said, practically automatically. Now it was Night's turn to snort.
"Flurry, I've been married thirty five years and I already raised a daughter. When a mare says 'nothing', I know damn well that it's not nothing."
"..."
"Look, you don't have to tell me what it is, but don't tell me it's nothing. If you don't want to talk about it just say so."
"Fine. Yes. I don't want to talk about it."
"Alright. Do you want something else to drink? Apple juice or something?" he asked. She nodded. He got up and poured her a glass of juice. "I just always hoped that I could be someone you could talk to about anything. Everybody needs someone like that."
"Yeah, I've heard Mom and Dad say that, too."
"And I'm sure they mean it," he said. Flurry rolled her eyes. "Your parents just want what's best for you. That's why Cadance keeps a dry castle. Because drinking too young could really hurt you and-"
"Yeah I know! I've heard it a hundred times!"
"And they're doing the best they can," he continued. Flurry huffed. "Flurry, you need to remember that your parents are just ponies. It doesn't matter that they are your parents, or royalty or whatever. They're just ponies. They're not perfect and they make mistakes. And this is the first time they've raised a foal." Flurry seemed unphased. "I'm gonna let you in on a big-time grown-up secret." That got her attention. "Life doesn't come with an instruction manual. Everypony is making it up as they go along. And one day, when you have foals of your own, you'll realize that raising foals is just about the hardest thing anypony can do."
"What about ruling an empire?" she asked.
"Not even close!" he said.
"Well now I'm dreading both."
"Nah. Don't worry about it."
"But you just said it's the hardest thing to do! Harder than running an empire!"
"Yes."
"So why shouldn't I be worried?"
"Because you won't have to do it alone. You'll have help. With both. You'll have royal staff and your friends and family. And your future spouse, I presume," he said. Flurry seemed unconvinced. "You don't think so?"
"No, I get it. It's just..." Her wings ruffled again. "It's nothing."
"Flurry?"
"I mean... I don't want to talk about it."
Night looked at the clock.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Yeah."
Night checked the fridge.
"Your Grandmare left me a nice healthy dinner. Brussels Sprouts legumes and celery." Flurry made not attempt to conceal her disappointed sigh. "What do you want for dinner?" he asked.
"Are you really asking?" He nodded. "Junk food. Something fried."
"How about were order a pizza?" he asked. Her face lit up.
"Can we get hay fries too?" she asked.
"A whole mountain. With a cheese sauce swimming pool!"
"Thanks Grampa!" It was the first genuine smile he had seen from her in a long time. She rushed over and hugged him. "Mom never lets me eat what I want. She always says that nopony likes a fat princess."
"Yeah well, real princesses have curves," he said. "Have you seen how many pancakes Celestia eats for breakfast?" Flurry giggled. "I trust you'll be fine here while I go pick up our food?" he asked. She nodded. "Don't play with the pointy knives or the stove and burn the house down, okay?"
"Grampa-"
"Alright. I'll be back soon." Night Light grabbed his bag and headed into town to get their comfort food.
Flurry watched from the front window until he turned the corner at the end of the street. As soon as he was out of sight, she turned and trotted into the kitchen and pulled open the freezer, hoping that her grandmare wasn't too old to not have what she was looking for anymore. Digging and searching through the old frost and ice in the bottom she was about to give up hope when she finally spotted it. A simple blue cylinder with a faded CoolCo® logo on the side.
"Thank the stars!"
Flurry Heart had been doing her best to keep her composure ever since she had arrived. But now her tail was flagging high in the midst of her worst estrus cycle yet. Her tail swished and fanned instinctively, but it did precious little to cool the ache in her loins.
"Ugh!" she growled in frustration. She levitated the CoolCo® coolerator behind her and pressed it against her marehood. The cold was a shock at first that quickly gave way to relief. She pressed the length of it sideways against her hot vulva for a minute before finally pushing the rounded tip into her vagina and slipping the full length of it inside, sending the patented long-last CoolCo® coolerator coolant container to her core.
It was an older model. Clearly designed by a stallion. It wasn't as long or as thick as she would have liked, and it didn't have any of the stimulating bumps or ridges that the newer models had. But it served its purpose. On the plus side, not being as long meant that she could fit it completely inside her, letting her pussy close behind it, keeping it invisibly concealed while it delivered its much-needed relief to the poor mare.
Flurry sat at the kitchen table and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, and cleared her mind, meditating the way her aunt had taught her. She had gotten through estrus before. She could do it again. The front door opened before she realized how much time had passed.
"Pizza time!" Night said as he walked into the house. Flurry froze in her seat. Night didn't notice as he set the pizza box on the table, grabbed a couple plates and refreshed their drinks. He sat down at the table with her. "Let's eat!" He looked at her. She looked back at him with an intentionally blank expression. It was obviously intentional and couldn't hide the nervousness beneath the facade. She had a terrible poker face. "Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Yup!" Flurry quickly grabbed a slice of pizza and a big helping of fries onto her plate with cheese sauce and she started eating. She had spent her whole life practicing eating properly she was genuinely thrilled when she could just dig in and indulge herself.
"Easy there, don't forget to breathe. Geez, doesn't Shining ever feed you?" he asked. She didn't reply after her second slice of pizza.
"The most I get to eat is at the castle banquets," she said. "And even then, I have to eat 'like a proper princess' and Mom makes sure I don't get too many helpings. 'We wouldn't want the common ponies to gossip about the little princess eating for two'," Flurry mocked her mother's voice. "HA! As if that was even possible!"
"What do you mean?" he asked. She gave him a sideways look.
"Oh please! Do you really think Mom or Dad would ever let another pair of balls near me!?" she said indignantly. "All the guards are either geldings or mares. And not even cute mares! Butch hags!"
"Do they not trust their own guards?" he asked.
"They don't trust me!" she growled before chowing down another slice of pizza.
"I'm sorry Flurry. I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. We always wanted you to be able to have a normal life. But I guess no matter what we do, that will never be completely possible."
"Yeah, well..." she trailed off as she chewed some more fries. "This is nice. It's the closest thing I'll ever have to a date. At least until Mom marries me off to some foreign prince in a political power move."
"Wow. And I though I was a jaded teenager," he said. "But don't get too excited about this little 'date'. I'm a married stallion after all."
"And my grampa!" she laughed. "I always wondered how Auntie Twilie did it, you know? Being a princess and single this whole time without ever having a coltfriend," she said. Night Light snorted. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Grampa, you can't say that right after giving me crap about it!" she said.
"Fine I don't-" He started over. "It's not your business to know what your aunt does behind closed doors." Flurry rolled her eyes. Night took a sip of his drink. "If I took a drink every time you rolled your eyes, I'd be dead by the end of the night." Flurry rolled her eyes again. "Easy there, give your Gramps a break."
"I can just see her biography now: The Four Hundred Year Old Virgin," Flurry said.
Night snorted again. "Okay. That was pretty funny. But inaccurate."
"Well I know she's not four hundred yet."
"I meant all of it." Flurry gave him a funny look. "Yeah that's right."
"Auntie had a coltfriend?"
"Yeah... a couple."
"Huh."
"So... what do you want to do after dinner?" he asked. She shrugged. "I've got a few board games. Or we could do a puzzle or something."
"I guess."
"I could read to you. You used to love that!"
"Yeah, when I was like, three. I'm not a little filly anymore."
"I know, Flurry," Night sighed. "I know. But it wasn't that long ago for me. The years fly by so much faster when you get older. And in the blink of an eye your little grandfilly..." She looked back at him with sympathetic eyes. He leaned over and brushed her mane with his hoof. "I used to love reading to you, too. So maybe we can just pretend you haven't grown up so fast on me for a little while? It would beat moping at the table all evening."
"... Okay."
"Alright. We can go read on the couch as soon as we get the table cleared." Night smiled and stood up, grabbing the leftovers and then pulling out Flurry's chair for her. She tried to follow it but ended up on her hooves.
A 'thud' drew Night's attention to the floor. The glistening wet blue cylinder lay on the floor between her legs.
"Haven't seen one of those in a while," he said. He looked at her. "Sorry. I, uh... did you need to...?" She stood frozen in place. Her eyes clenched and her mortified face was beet red. "Let me just..." He picked it up off the floor. It was quite warm. He rinsed it and opened the freezer. "I think we have another in here if you need... oh, this is it." He put it back in the freezer. "It should be ready in a few minutes."
"YEAH GRAMPA I KNOW HOW THEY WORK!" she yelled without even opening her eyes.
"Right. I'll just uh..." he backed out of the kitchen. "I'll just be in the living room. You go ahead and... do...that." he trailed off.
"..."
"I'll see you in the living room."
He turned and left the kitchen, walking to the living room. He looked over the books on his bookshelf and grabbed one to read and waited on the couch. After a few minutes he heard the freezer drawer open and then close. Another minute later, Flurry poked her head around the corner of the living room doorway.
"You uh... okay?" he asked. She nodded her head sheepishly. "Did you want to...?" he patted the couch beside him.
Flurry hesitated for a moment and then walked very carefully across the room with her tail tucked firmly between her legs. She settled onto the couch next to him. It was awkward for him to know that she had that coolerator inside her vagina. It was more awkward that she knew he knew.
"I'm sorry, Flurry," he said. "I should have know. It's mid June after all and... It just- it explains a lot."
"Whatever," she muttered.
"Flurry, there's no need to feel ashamed. It's a perfectly natural-"
"Can we NOT!?"
"Alright, alright." He leaned over and opened the coffee table drawer and took out a couple small wrapped sweets. "Do you want some chocolate?" he asked.
"That's a stereotype."
"And that's not a 'no'."
"... Fine. Yes," she admitted. He waved for her move over closer. She begrudgingly shifted closer and he unwrapped them.
"Say 'ah'."
She opened her mouth reflexively. "Ah." He levitated the chocolate into her mouth and she chewed it before laying back down, resting her cheek against the side of his thigh like she used to when he read to her when she was younger. "So what are we reading?" she asked. He showed her the book. "Fairy tales? Really?" He smiled.
"These aren't the ones you know," he said. "These are the grim, original ones! These aren't about princesses and happily ever afters. These are mostly about foals getting into trouble and getting eaten by witches and wolves."
"Cool!"
"Damn right they're cool! And I haven't read these in a long time so this will be fun for me too." He opened up to the table of contents. "Recognize any of these titles?"
"Red Trotting Hood! I remember that one!"
"Do you remember how it ends?"
"Yeah, the wolf was gonna eat her but the lumberjack scares him away with his ax!"
"Heh, yeah. This version is a little different." He flipped to the page of the story within the massive tome and began reading it to her. It started off similarly enough until Little Red met the wolf. "Why Grandma, what wrinkly skin you have!" Night read aloud. "Well I'm no young filly, the wolf said, wearing her grandmother's fur."
"Wait, what?" Flurry asked.
"The wolf ate her grandmother and was wearing her fur like a coat."
"Oh my gosh!"
"Yeah, I told you."
"Awesome!"
"Yeah. Uh let's see... oh okay. Why Grandma, what a long tongue you have! All the better to eat you with, my dear! And then the wolf..." Night Light read ahead.
"So is this when the lumberjack shows up?"
"Uh, no."
"So the wolf eats her?"
"Uh... more or less," he said. "Let me skip ahead a little here..."
"I'm fine, come on!" Flurry grabbed the book. "All the better to eat you with!" she read. "The wolf licked his lips and grabbed Little Red Trotting Hood, throwing her on the bed and spreading her legs, before he- oh."
"Flurry-"
"Oh wow."
"Yeah, sorry, I forgot about that part-"
"Why Grandma what a big DICK you have?"
"Flurry, come on!"
"The wolf fucks her?"
"Language! But yeah, in the old version that was what happened. And then he eats her for real." He grabbed the book away from her. "Let's read something else. How about Ivory Ice and the seven miniature horses?"
"The mare living in a house with seven dudes?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Does this version have like a gang-bang scene?" she asked.
"Flurry!"
"Or do they wait in line and take turns with her?"
"Flurry that's enough!" he scolded. "Look I know you're at that age and right now that's all that's on your mind. I know. I used to be your age too at one point."
"Hmff. Yeah. Before the planet cooled."
"Hardy har." Night put the book on the coffee table and huffed. "I can't believe your parents left you with me like this."
"What?" Flurry looked hurt.
"What- no, I'm happy you're here. I just meant, with you like... this." He motioned at her with his hoof. "Why didn't you bring your own cooler, or take some Beat The Heat?"
"I would have if I had any!" she said. "You might want to pretend that I'm still a filly, but at least you know better. Mom on the other hoof really thinks I'm still a little filly! To her it's inconceivable that I could be feeling this way!"
"Well usually the father deals with-"
"HA!" Flurry laughed so hard she almost choked. "Dad's a moron!"
"Don't call your father names."
"He looks at me like I'm a damn puzzle cube that he can't figure out. When it's so obvious what I need!"
"Oh yeah? And what's that?"
"DICK! I need a stallion!"
"..."
"..."
"Okay, I know that's the truth, but I just wasn't prepared to actually hear you say that out loud."
"Yeah, well... you asked!" she huffed.
"Have you told him that?"
"I think I've given him plenty of subtle hints."
"Sweetie, Shining doesn't get subtle hints. He doesn't get obvious hints. Like you said, he's a moron."
"Yeah!"
"But- just because it's true, doesn't mean you should say that about him, okay?"
"Okay... It just blow my mind that he married somepony like Mom. How in Equestria did he manage that?"
"It's... a long story."
"Well I'm sure it's better than..." she opened the book to a random page. "Hansel and Gretel."
Night snorted. "Actually it's similar to that version of the story."
"Because it has a candy house and Dad calls Mom 'Candy'?" she asked.
"No. Because Hansel and Gretel are siblings and they weren't going into the woods to find a candy house."
She flipped to the story. "Hansel and his sister Gretel trotted into the woods together to find some privacy, as their family would not approve of them... oh wow. Really?"
"It was a more common theme back then than you would think. Nowadays... well, ponies are a bit more discreet."
"So what does that have to do with Mom and Dad?" she asked.
"Are you really sure you want to know?" he asked. "Because once I tell you the truth, you can't un-know it."
"What? Did Mom come over one time to visit Grammy, but it turns out Grammy was a wolf all along and I'm actually his half-wolf daughter?"
"Alright. I guess you could handle it. I think you would have figured it out eventually." Night finished the rest of his drink. "For starters, You Gram and I never planned on having foals. Your father was an unplanned pregnancy."
"Ooh."
"Yeah yeah. But we love him all the same. But I didn't intend on having any more. So after that happened, I went to the clinic and got a vasectomy."
"Huh?"
"It's birth control, like... getting your tubes tied, but for stallions."
"Oh. But what about Auntie Twilie?"
"What indeed?" he asked rhetorically, setting his jaw. "Well you see, I never told Velvet that I had gotten snipped. And then some years later, she was pregnant with Twilight. She claimed it was mine, But I knew it wasn't."
"Grammy cheated on you?"
"Mhmm."
"Do you know who it was?" she asked.
"Yup..." Night tried to keep the anger out of his voice. "I figured it out. It happened over a Mother's Day weekend while I was out of town. I left her at home with your Dad."
"But if Dad was there, how did she get away with having a stallion over?"
"She didn't need to. Your dad was about your age at the time..."
"..."
"..."
"Oh my gosh! You mean Dad fucked Grammy?"
"Yup."
"How did you- how are you sure?" she asked.
"Because they didn't just do it once," he said. "Sometimes in the middle of the night Velvet would sneak out of the bedroom 'to go feed Twilight in the nursery', and then make a little stop at your dad's bedroom when she thought I was asleep. It was pretty obvious what they were doing."
"Yeah. There's no mistaking that sound," Flurry said, recalling hearing late night noises herself. "So if she was cheating on you, why didn't you dump her?"
"What? Get a divorce? No," Night said. "No, I wasn't ready to do that. I still loved her. And she still loved me. We had already built a whole life together. And we had two foals to raise. I wanted to stay together for their sake. And besides, I was playing the long game."
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone assumed that Twilight was my daughter. And Velvet never told anyone any different. Not even your father. But soon, Twilight grew up, herself. When she had her first heat, she came to me for help."
"And?"
"And she made it pretty clear what she wanted. She didn't give me subtle hint. She didn't give me obvious hints. She told me what she wanted. And I obliged her."
"You had sex with Auntie Twilie?"
"For a while."
"But she was your daughter."
"Well, half-daughter/half-granddaughter, but she doesn't know that. Anyways, it was what Twilight wanted. For my part, I certainly enjoyed it. And as a bonus I was quietly getting even with your Gram."
"Do you still do that with Auntie?" she asked.
"No. Well, we never officially stopped, but it's been years. She traded me for a younger model. But that's okay, because your father did the same thing to Velvet."
"By marrying Mom."
"Not quite. Before your father met your mom, he started having a relationship with somepony else."
"Who?"
"... Your aunt."
"Twilight? His sister!?"
"Well technically, his half-sister/half-daughter," Night said. "But like I said he doesn't know that."
"Wait, are you about to tell me Auntie Twilie is my mom?"
"No. Thank goodness. Twilight was always much better about using birth control than her mother. But Shining and Twilight were the worst-kept secret in our family. Once Velvet found out, she pushed Cadance to date and marry him. Which of course she did. And you know the rest."
"Does Mom know about any of this?" she asked.
"Mhmm. She discovered Shining cheating on her with Twilight. She told Velvet. Velvet never told her that Shining and Twilight were actually 'continuing' their relationship and that Cadance is actually 'the other mare' in all of it. And from what I figured, Cadance decided to get even by having an affair with Velvet."
"How do you know?"
"You know I used to be a Royal Guard, right?"
"Yeah."
"Do you know what part?" he asked. She shook her head. "Intelligence. Espionage. Spying. Suffice to say your grampa still knows a few tricks. I intercepted messages between them. And according to your mother..." He cleared his throat. "She doesn't care if Shining is fucking Twilight on the side, or whoever else he may have been seeing. Hell, he could go out even more, and she'd like it. All it meant for her was more time with his mother, her soft lips, tongue, and nimble hooves." he recited. "In fact I'm certain that's what she's doing right now."
"So Mom and Gram?"
"Yeah."
"While Dad and Twilie..?"
"Yeah.
"Wow. Wow... But you know what? Weirdly, a lot of stuff that's been going on is making a lot sense right now. But what about you?"
"Me? I get to be the odd one out. Stuck at home foalsitting, no offense, while they go out and have fun. This is what they mean when they say 'knowing too much for your own good."
"Oh."
"But I just figured you deserved to know. And if you tell your Dad you want his help with your cycle, I'm sure he will eventually. He seemed to have no problem doing his mother and sister."
"What? No, when I said I wanted dick, I didn't mean I wanted his!" she said.
Night Light gave her a dubious look. "Oh? Did you have some other stallion in mind?" Flurry winced. She knew he was right. As much as she didn't want to admit it, least of all to herself, her father was the one she had been lusting after all along. "Don't feel to badly, Flurry. I think all fillies go through that phase. Though probably not to the extent that your aunt did."
"Do you think it might be hereditary?" she asked.
"If it is, you're doomed," he laughed. She didn't. "I think it's more the case that you've been dealt a tough hoof of cards. Especially if your parents won't let you date on your own. Your father should realize what that's doing to you. But as we've established-"
"He's a moron."
"Heh, yeah." Night Light gently stroked her mane while she laid her head on his thigh.
"I don't want it to be with Dad," she said. "I mean, I don't anymore. Now that I know all that. Besides, it sounds like he has his hooves full anyway. I guess I'm the odd one out, too."
"Mhmm."
She softly nuzzled her cheek against him.
"I don't want to be the odd one out anymore, Grampa."